7 Ways To Punch Shame in the Throat

Shame shows up in our lives in surprising ways. It has an agenda all its own and doesn’t mind changing its tactics to serve its purpose. Shame aims to keep you fearful, living a small life, and stifling the gifts you have to offer the world.

Will we ever be fully rid of shame? I don’t know. I do know it owns a lot less real estate in my mind and life than it did just a few years ago. I also know that has happened by my intentional disregard for the lies it tells. Choosing to live in the opposite spirit from where shame wants to position me is a challenge. However, the more I do it, the more natural it becomes.

There are ways we can loosen its grip, break the chokehold it has on us.


1. Refuse to live on lockdown

Shame hates it when you refuse to let the dark, whispered lies about yourself and others keep you locked down and locked out. It despises healthy relationships with healthy people who speak the loving truth.

It fears the day you befriend trustworthy people who encourage relationships and offer different perspectives on a given situation. Shame is terrified of committed community that pushes against the tendency toward isolation and offense.

Its grip loosens each time you confront twisted interpretations, clear up misunderstandings in the safety of the community. Each time you ignore the stories it tries to tell, you punch shame in the throat.


2. Look ahead with hope

Shame hates it when you refuse to be manipulated by your past. It fears you will realize each bump in life or misstep in a relationship shouldn’t drag you back to the past and stir up old pain.

It fears the day you recognize the image of God in your reflection. It dreads you become familiar with God’s voice and character because it will make shame’s lie so much more apparent.

Its grip loosens each time you remember your value is not based on your latest performance, interaction, or behavior. Shame takes a knee to the gut every time you realize you were, are and will ever be, deeply loved.


3. Stand in the Light

Shame hates it when you refuse to create a false persona and facade about who you are. It hates it when you refuse to play a part in, or participate with, the cruel fairytale it seeks to tell.

It fears the day you embrace people who see through the facade and are bold enough to call it what it is. It trembles at the thought you will shed the persona, step out of the shadows and embrace your beautifully flawed humanity.

Its grip loosens each time you tell your story. All of it. It fears you will express your true self and most profound needs. It dreads the day you tip over the facade, light it with holy fire and let Truth burn it to the ground.


4. Stop bobbing and weaving

Shame hates it when you refuse to dodge your pain but face it. It hates it when you give up the search for a hero to rescue you. It dreads the idea you will take responsibility for your healing and wholeness.

It fears the day you no longer run from the fall-out, but turn, face-first toward redemption. It fears you will rise above your pain and begin to rewrite your story.

Its grip loosens each time you run to God for insight and courage. It fears the power that comes with the realization that God designed you to live fully alive even when the painful truth still searches for resolution.


5. Embrace your humanity

Shame hates it when you refuse to think what works for others won’t work for you or you are the exception to every rule, standard, and protocol. It fears you will accept to be human means to struggle.

It fears the day you believe God will never let you go without nor leave you out. When you realize your pain is not too deep, too rare or too profound to be healed, shame weakens.

Its grip loosens each time you admit you were made to need others. When you no longer find excuse or fault that disqualifies other’s contribution to your wholeness, you become open to receive.


6. Admit perfection is impossible

Shame hates it when you refuse to expect perfection or justify it with the name “excellence.” Shame fears you will drop comparison, embrace your flawed beauty and understand mistakes are part of being human.

It fears the day you surrender your right to be offended at what happens around you and admit you don’t know the whole story. It fears you will lead a vibrant life that allows others to find their vibrancy as well.

Its grip loosens each time you lift those who fall and celebrate those who excel. Shame loses when you rejoice in good gifts and realize in God’s Kingdom there is unlimited and infinite supply.


7. Wear your name proudly

Shame hates it when you refuse to call yourself by names never given you, silence the guilt loop, stop being a bully. It fears you will realize it is not the same as humility or meekness.

It fears the day you acknowledge humility is a work of the Holy Spirit grown through time together. It fears you will realize sincere humility is not shame-driven but powerful and expressive.

Its grip loosens each time you remember every beautiful name God has given you. Shame fears you will replace lies with truth and speak the names he gave you over and about yourself. speaks to you.

“Shame is “me” focused but it doesn’t stop there. Ultimately, we project our judgment of ourselves onto others. Perhaps that is why Jesus based the great commandment on how we feel about ourselves.
Jesus tells us that the supreme law is to love God with everything in us and ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ No other rules, laws or commands rank anywhere near these.
We can’t love others with life-giving power until we love ourselves.
There’s no way around it.
This kind of self-love is not a selfish, me-first-and-only love.
It is a love that accepts the image of Creator God woven into every cell and characteristic of your being. It is a love that recognizes the grace and mercy He measured out in abundance is due to everyone created in His image – including and starting with you.” ⠀
⠀⠀Our Father: A Journey Into The Wild Untamed Love of God by Angie Stumbo⠀


Does shame haunt you?
Have you dealt with shameful areas in the past?
Tell me your story.

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